It's not fun for either party, and it's definitely a sign that things aren't entirely healthy. And that one is difficult for boys: you HAVE to not think through your ego. But i just seem lost and i need answers, idk if i was harsh and Im totally new at this so Im sorry if i was being harsh and all but plz help. (You're so tired) But you just can't sleep. Im so tired now and giving her space and to myself too while figuring what I should do, to stay or leave? If you think youre a piece of poop, youre going to think others think that way too. You're so tired. Sorry to say this but its just my own opinion. So even if you don't initially make the connection, your relationship could be why you're always up at night. I took on too much. This is the person who wants what you have - your charm, your wit, your success, your intelligence, your job, your partner, whatever - and because they don't think they . I think this is the best for us at this time, as I read up in this thread I see a lot of pain caused to both people as time goes on and I dont want that to happen to either of us. You're looking older but you can't be certain. I dealt the final blow when I advised psychological follow-up over and over again. My girlfriend has jealousy along with paranoia, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder and some depression. First two years went well. There is more to life than this, trust me. The ex shouldnt even be in the equation. I experience the exact same thing you are talking about with my girlfriend for one year. Recently, she insulted both my mother and I in her home. we took a break for a day, then got back together. I am opinionated and very understanding. You are in a relationship, you two must have had a reason to be with eachother. The act of moving things out can be difficult to deal with. Dragged Down. Can anyone help me and tell me what can i do?. Second, if nothing changes over time let it go. And I know hes going to hate me and say I dont understand. Im in a LDR myself too although I have never met her IRL. Dont worry youre not alone! Ad by TruthFinder Have you ever googled yourself? She wont go to counselling nor will she take medication, she hurts herself knowing that it hurts me because it means iv failed once again to make her happy. past experiences? She is quiet, shy, passive/aggressive yet bubbly she would do anything and everything instantaneously for me, great girl! Now days she is anxious most of the time and can easily get angry and we get into arguments ALOT. So I fight. I really don't know the best way if breaking it to her and I don't wanna do anything that I'll regret 3 28 28 comments Add a Comment AutoModerator 8 mo. My ex boyfriend left me because I was depressed all the time. It is your life too. Sign up and Get Listed. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process, July 16th, 2016 at 5:42 AM She says she feels okay when she clearly doesnt, when I give her a hug during this time, she tenses up, keeps shaking her head, and really hates herself for the way she is. This is a painful, complicated issue, and you deserve to have support as you work on figuring out what is best for you. She also will fail in it, many times, probably hurting you, but she will go on. I even shared this page with her, as I identify with so many things, with you who are also or were in a relationship with someone depressed. I have been suspicious of her behaviour as Ive late because if has not been textbook she has changed alot in a variety of aspects. I did anything to help her, yet there seems to be no progress. she is unhappy with dating. ), It can also really take you by surprise. You tend to put blame on you, stop doing this. Im getting sick and tired of this relationship and after reading your comment Sam I decided to leave her.. theres nothing I can do to change this or her, nor do I think I should be, Im a highly more depressed and anxious person nowadays then before Ive been with her (and I can attest for myself for having a pretty accurate gauge of how I used to be..) I love her, but I cant go on like this, sometimes I want to escape, but I cant. Totally agree with your comment. It's to the point where her depression is dragging me down with her, though I would never say that to her. She talks about it so much now that I dont even get shocked anymore. We dont really have many, if any, moments of romance anymore. She has now admitted to me that she has battled with depression since she was a teenager (she is 26). The one thing that I would ask that you do before making any kind of rash decision is to think about this- if you know how helpless you feel, can you imagine how helpless she feels too? Ive been going to therapy for 3 years and talking about my problems doesnt help me. Take it as a hint that things need to change. Hey, lately iv been feeling more and more distant from my gf. This then gives my anxiety about getting erectile dysfunction. Everything is about your partner. I dont see it getting any better. I have been dealing with a depressed girlfriend for the last 3 months. The sad thing is when these ppl start showing their age and dont have their sh$t together. Everyday is a battle. And it was bad enough that i was married at one time and my Ex wife cheated on me thinking that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her at the time. I hope you found your way out and ability to stay out. Dry spells happen a lot. and the thing with sex: if you are curious and want to understand: Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! "More importantly, there is balance in the relationship. I thought she was the woman of my life, that I would do anything for her and I would but she simply doesnt want. But of course this isn't the case in an unhealthy relationship. Youve managed to take care of your girlfriend and remain connected enough to yourself to come up with these questions. So tell someone, it wont just save her life, but also yours. She has issues with everyone including mine and her family. She says its her medication but shes been on it since the age of 15 and shes 45 now, Im 42 I knew I had a little depression here and there and a bit of self destructive I dont want to go to work kinda lazy crap going on. I really hope that it is it. We started dating and since after 2 months shes been depressed. And I never had a problem with that, I loved her entirely, with all of that. Im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 years of this abuse. ", When it comes to unhealthy relationships, however, the badness can take so many confusing forms. I feel im depressed, asking myself was actually our sexlife good becuase she was drinking, and that the person im with now has no interest in sex at all? She losing her best friend to cancer and she going through crisis with weight loss. And if an argument crops up, it almost always goes smoothly (i.e., no screaming, or blaming, or anything horrible like that). It's an affect that's truly worth noting. You will only drag yourself down in the end. She struggles to make friends and has isolated herself from the world. She would start crying, shes wanted to leave home and then denied it the next day, I try to get her to talk about whats going on but she wont. AND finally, when everything feels fine, she doesnt acknowledge anything that happened. When I feel she is back to her slump again I back off and do my own thing for awhile. But you're dragging me down, yeah. But i will never get married again since it really has become very risky for many of us men that have been married the first time. If you haven't been feeling like yourself lately, your romance may be to blame. And at the current time, I feel stretched thin with everything going around me since everyone needs me there for them, along with being there for myself. The 3 Cs: You didnt Cause it, you cant Control it, you cant Cure it. We talked (argued) about the lack of sex and how distant we are and she said that she doesnt feel any of these feelings, and that sometimes we doesnt feel comfortable thinking about sex. Then to know she will react & get angry is so wrong. The problem is somewhere else and only specialist can find it. Relationships are supposed to build you up, be super supportive, and make you a better person. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. You deserve to be happy as well. You are helpful to them by being there when they need you. Ive dealt with people like that and let me tell you its never easy cuz there gonna try and bring you down.I mean I too have anxiety but not to the point where I freak out or go completely insane. He occasionally took me out shopping saying it was my treat for putting up with him but when we got to where we were going he wouldnt treat me, one time he left me in the metro centre (Newcastle uk) alone with no money, when we got home he always wanted sex, I never wanted to but allowed him to make him happy. Im not sure whats going on but I let her know constructively that I considered leaving her I know its harsh but it was a reality check. Shes most likely cheating already, I mean think about their history as if the ex hasnt tried to make a move on her. I feel for all of you guys! We started dating a few months after the divorce and (I admit we could have been more responsible of our actions) she is now pregnant with our first child. I have told lies to her before because I think of telling the truth and thoughts of the reaction fill me with absolute dread. This is important: I have to tell you you will not find the cure, you can be there and support but please stop believing that it will make the problem go away. Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. See what I. Its dragging me down and she wont listen to me and wouldnt want to change her way of thinking for herself or anyone, I hate to say this but I realized she is actually very stubborn and selfish. Same for me. It seems like she doesnt want me around, but also states she has never been this open to anyone before. She is suffering from depression, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical issues and so on. It almost feels as though she is in a better mood when I am down! Me and my LDR girlfriend were originally together for 7 months, then took a break for 3, and now we are back together. When I have some me time to save my soul from drowning because of her, she said that I was selfish for leaving her for, like, a day! She thinks I must be sleeping with someone else & she is not the object of my desire. Day in or out, shell leave me broken again, I know it, just dont know when. Her issues didnt matter to me as she is a very good person, but I didnt see the whole picture. It sounds like you have been a tremendous source of love, strength, and support for your girlfriend in her battle with depression. I can not just do sex all the time Im not a robot. We r loving since 5-6 years! We list further resources on this page:https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, If you would like to get in touch with a therapist, you can search our directory for mental health professionals in your area: goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. thanks for everyone comments! I feel for you all. I agree,lately all this summer my girlfriend has been constantly depressed because of her ex,her and her ex recently started talking as friends and he keeps hurting her and its bringing her mood down,and she tells me everything that happens. Dear Shady, I feel like she is using me even though I take care of her. It would be way worse, and if you leave, then the relationship wouldnt be as big of a crutch and she and you can move on and grow. So that he loves himself. The envier. Cmon guys you know the drill. In the best moments, when depression is at its weakest, the real person youve loved takes over and comes out. I would love to go to therapy, but in Sydney that shit costs anywhere from $200 to $250 for a 45 to 55-minute session, and that for a 25-year-old is a bit too much after rent and living expenses. WE ARE ALL A PRODUCT OF OUR ENVIRONMENTS. I beat my depression, i became happy again but after a year with my gf and trying to care for her depression i can feel it creeping back again. Im on anti depressants myself but evidently those are for the weak that cant handle reality from her pointof view. The reason I feel it's dragging me down is that my girlfriend's mother has always been extremely disrespectful to me. She has told me that my love and support has made her feel so special and that Im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy, and I believe her. It was new to me and i didnt know exactly how depressed people behave. I love her so much, but I know Id rather deal with these issues now than a year or 2 into a relationship. Help me drag the camping gear down the hill. She relies on me sitting down and talking sense to her, but I too feel like a caretaker, an older sibling or even a parent sometimes. I envy all your girlfriends, because you acknoleged their pain.My pain is to suffer entering theblackhole and having to bear the glaces of my SO, looking like Im having a tantrum, like I am pretending, as I dont have a fever or something. i cant let her go and i know she cant let me go either. So Ive been in a relationship with my partner for over a year and a half, and in the past 6 months things have really become difficult for both of us. I also have depression. Recent events have dragged prices down. Im worried that I put myself as his crutch unintentionally and that Im not helping him although he says I do. There are so many ways a relationship can be unhealthy, and therefore so many ways it can drag you down. Thing you are helpful to them by being there when they need you person, but she will react get... 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